13 Pavements

Sunday, September 15, 2013
Confession: I am a hot mess.

I'm not 100% sure how it happened even.  But geez. The last few years have thrown us some pretty substantial loops and apparently the things I used to be somewhat good at I am now not so good at.  I can't pinpoint exactly when it happened, but I think it happened somewhere between December 2010 and September 2011. Before that my house was always clean, my makeup always done, things decently organized, I could put together a decent outfit and seem presentable most of the time.

Now? Now. Well.

In the interest of full disclosure I haven't done yesterday's dishes, there are at least 7 loads of laundry residing on my bedroom floor waiting to be folded and put away, I went make-up less somewhere in the vicinity of four or five days this week, and the same three pair of yoga pants are making rotations in my normal wardrobe, and I can't seem to get beyond item number 3 to do list I make.

I mean...I can't even...I don't...Seriously.  How? 

It was brought to my attention today just exactly how bad it has got when I came out of my bedroom, hair curled, full face of makeup, and actual jeans. It wasn't anything I thought to be special or amazing, probably how I should look every day.   Olivia gasped, "Mudder!  You look beautiful!  You look so cute!  You're like a different mom!"

Well, ouch. 

Is it really that infrequent that I make myself look decent that when I consider myself merely presentable my 4-year-old thinks I look like a different mom?

How exactly do other mom's do it?  I look at my friends and I don't have a single frump among them.  I am clearly and obviously the dud.  How do you other moms do it?  No, really.  How?  I feel exhausted and overwhelmed so much of the time lately.  Maybe it's that baby boy who thinks sleep is for the birds?  Or our business that doesn't really let me have a life anyway?  Or maybe, just maybe, those are just excuses I'd like to use but really, everyone else seems to have their crap together.  So what's wrong with me?  Where did I go so wrong that I went from satisfied with myself to hot mess?   And it's not even good hot mess. 

I'm not trying to sound all pity party or anything.  Cause really, I'm equal parts horrified and oddly amused.  My heads in a good place so I'm thinking maybe its time for everything else to fall in line.  I can totally handle it.  I just need someone to tell me how to do it. 

Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueller?


  1. Well I'm right there with you. Sunday and date night are the only times I put make up on... granted I've had the excuse of pregnancy for literally 3 straight years out of the past 6. But still, I know what you mean. But don't compare your worst to someone elses best. No one has it all together. Or maybe they do, but are falling apart in other places. You know this. I'm glad you are amused and not beating yourself up. You will find a groove. I also think focusing on make up, and perfectly cleaned house, and other things like that can distract from the most important. As long as the most important things are getting done, the other stuff will happen in time. :)

    I really don't know. I'm sitting here myself in yoga pants, and a sports bra and t-shirt because I really don't want to get up and do laundry! My hair is unwashed, and the sink is full of dishes. You are most certainly not alone!

  2. This last pregnancy was super hard on me. I could barely walk most days and spent a lot of time in bed feeling sorry for my fat self. One day I started in on my 2 week old mountain of laundry and found that I had a huge pajama pile, and not one single thing that hangs up or gets folded. I was like, "Hm, maybe I should get dressed." And I tell you, it helps. If I just put on my loungewear, I lounge around a lot more. If I get up and put on actual human being clothes, I get more done in the day.

    Also, I spent all day yesterday cleaning up 2 laundry rooms. Our washer leaked upstairs and flooded into the basement laundry room. I was filthy and hot and sweaty, my 10 day old baby cried most of the day, I cried most of the day. It was awful. Then at 7 pm I took a shower and put on a cute dress and makeup and went to a wedding reception. Everyone was like, "I can't believe how good you look and that you're out and about and you're amazing and blah blah blah..." Trust me, no one would've been impressed if they had seen me any of the previous 12 hours of the day.