13 Pavements

Monday, May 21, 2012

Last Week According to Instagram

 The last few weeks seem to have gone on for far too long.  I've been logging extra miles, The Husband's had a lot of homework, Liv has had a lot of sickness.  You know, roseola and such.  It has made for a lot of really long days around here.  I often feel overwhelmed with guilt about the lack of quality time I get to spend with my family.  My life is completely ruled by other people's agendas.  Where I can, I try to get in a trip to the park or to the pool.  I've made a conscious effort to be more "unplugged" at home and be more on the floor with her.  Even if we only have 30 minutes to really play, it helps lighten the heavy guilt.  And I mean heavy.

 I love how much she loves dogs.  It is one of my favorite things about her.  It's a phase I hope she doesn't grow out of. 

 The picture does not do justice to the size of this dirt devil I saw last week.  It was gigantic.  This picture is not relevant to anything, really.  It was just huge. 

 This is a view I have almost daily.  I told The Husband I feel like I am in a constant state of war with my body.  I spend a lot of time at the gym.  I count my calories.  I work hard.  I do.  I have PCOS, did you know?  It makes it hard for me to love my body or for my body to love me back.  Do you have a solution for this?  Anyone?

 We live in an old apartment.  Old old.  There are two AC units to cool the place off.  One in the living room.  The other in our bedroom.  We've had several days of 90+ degrees already.  When it's like that, it's cool in those two places.  That's it.  So Liv has been sleeping on our floor.  She is wildly amused by this. And it's cool.  We don't mind. (I am very much not amused, however, when she wakes up at 5:00 am, realizes where she is and whispers, "Mommy,"until I wake up, acknowledge her.  At which point she acts as though it was my bright idea to wake her at such an hour .  Then it's not so cool.)

I'm completely in love with Liv's fingerpaintings.  I have grand plans for these.

I wish I had more intersting things to say right now.  Or rather, I wish I had the time to write them.  I'll get it all out there, I'm sure.  And hopefully sooner rather than later.  I don't love a headful of thoughts that haven't been expressed yet. 

We are gearing up for a month's worth of Seattle appointments.  We are just a few weeks out from Olivia's next EUA to look for cancer.   I tend to get very edgy and anxious in the weeks leading up to EUA's.  The what ifs are heavy and emotionally consuming.  Shoot, everything concerning her health and development is heavy and consuming.  Send love our way.  It's always, always appreciated.
Oh, by the way.  I turn 29 on Wednesday.  Barf.

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